The Portrait of a Mother

Ezinne Nnennaya Florence Okpo (1954 - 2009)

 Many of you may not have known that our Mom was nick-named “Oku n’agba Ozara” as a kid. That was because she never faltered in the face of adversity. Mommy stared adversity in the face and asked, “Is that the best you’ve got?” She had an un-daunting faith in the victory of good over evil. Her almost white skin, coal-black hair, beautiful brown eyes, and infectious smile made her stand out. Yet it was her inner beauty that radiated with such a glow that she left a mark on everyone she encountered.

She played many roles throughout her life; she was a devoted mother, the most loyal wife, the absolute best Mom ever, a cherished sister, a favorite “auntie,” and a dear friend. The inscription on a book our Daddy bought Mom years ago reads, inter alia, “To Nne, the good wife. We thank God for the gift that is you, because you blend happiness with love, making all of us happy …..” Over the years as our understanding and perception unfolds and deepens, we cannot help seeing … the good wife… blending happiness with love. That was Mommy captured… happiness… love… blended.

Our Mom had an enormous heart filled with love, passion, compassion and empathy.
She had unselfish generosity. She never took the easy way out by giving money or material to solve a problem; she gave her time through blood, sweat and tears to every cause she ever participated in…and there were so many. She was amazingly kind to everyone. She taught us never, ever under any circumstances to be mean to anyone or make-fun of anyone. Moreover, we were taught that if someone was being picked on that we should go over and help stand up for that person. To her, a person in difficulty deserves to be forgiven whatever wrong he/she might have committed, no matter the gravity.

She had unrelentless perseverance and an ability to forge ahead regardless of what hand life dealt her. As a widow raising 6 children, she faced many obstacles ranging from financial constraints to sometimes unforgiving and hostile environment. As far as we know, she never went around an obstacle; she went right over them maintaining her dignity and pride throughout it all.

And finally, my Mom’s devotion to her children was truly extraordinary. We always absolutely, unequivocally came first. She always put our needs ahead of her own. If we needed to pay tuition and she needed to have her hair made, we got the tuition. If she needed new clothes and we needed new clothes, we got ours first, and sometimes she never got hers. In fact she never gave herself the choice of meeting her needs ahead of ours. Our welfare, to her, was non-negotiable.

Growing up in a place like Item in a house with financial constraints had the potential to limit anyone’s progress, but we never knew the difference. Yes we had to put in a few hours of work everyday. But that was the kind of activity we expect to meet in Heaven – joyous activity. We are going to miss those days terribly. We were well cared for and more importantly, well loved. We were told we could do anything with our lives and there were no bounds to our dreams and goals. We were told that we can dare to be different.

Our beautiful Mother, our best friend, was such an incredible woman. She would remind us all to take it one day at a time, and/or say "this too shall pass", whenever we were going through a difficult time in our lives. One of the very few advices she gave was, “Remember that nothing lasts forever”. How could we have known that this applies to her too? No words could ever express the emptiness we feel inside for having to live without her. She was everything to us. Living each day without her has been a struggle and very difficult.

With Mommy, what you saw - was what you got. She lived without pretense and gave of her pure heart completely. She had more "best friends" than we can count, because she made each one of us feel like her best friend. Each of us that were born of her was her best child. As far as we could tell, Mommy never really treated anyone differently from anyone else.

Mummy was utterly unique - a gentle, compassionate, generous, kind mother. God made her to be a mother, pure simple. And she didn’t discriminate. If you came across her way, you get what others get. Each of us knows how blessed we were to share a few moments on this earth with her.

Although what we've lost is tremendous, what she gave us is immeasurable.

To those who knew her, no explanation is necessary... To those who didn't, no explanation is possible...

The dignity and grace by which our Mom sailed through life has left a wake of beauty across the many hearts she touched. She spent her entire life dedicated to God, so we know she is in a wonderful place with him. May she rest in peace yet enjoy every minute of the wonders of eternal life. 

We love you, miss you and wish you were still here.